I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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