Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize