So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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