No stitches, just platelets and will power
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
