Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
