So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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