happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
