walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
