We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
