It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The air was thick with penises
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
