So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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