spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
