somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
