Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
