Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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