Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
