Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
