U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
