You work out of a Hotel?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's never too late to be topless.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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