I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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