i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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