so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
