dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Randomize
