Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
