Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
