T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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