if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
