Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
