Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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