He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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