paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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