Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
