Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
