I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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