i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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