my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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