Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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