he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
