sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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