At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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