Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
