I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
They have beer where we have blood.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
