i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
