Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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