I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
