You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Randomize
