Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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