the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
