This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
