he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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