We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You need a sexual gate keeper
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He did a backflip because drugs
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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