they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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