she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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