haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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