PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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