Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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