your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
