OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the day after is always just damage control
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
