Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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