I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
And then my night got REAL pukey
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
