I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
