I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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